Asking questions can also buy you time in this case. A good question to start with is “Why?” Ask for more information or an explanation and you may find an opening to get yourself out of a high-pressure situation.
Examples of viable excuses to get out of a pressured circumstance may include telling those pressuring you that you have to leave to do homework, you aren’t feeling well, or even acting like you are already too busy to do whatever they are pressuring you to do. Finding a friend who shares the same values that can support you in saying no can also help with the exit plan. There is often safety in numbers.
For instance, an alternate plan may involve you volunteering to be a designated driver if you find yourself at a party with alcohol and don’t want to drink. You could also come prepared to the party with your own non-alcoholic drink so there is no need to offer you a drink there. You won’t feel out of place if you already have something in your hand and if you are asked you could say “I already have one. ”
A lot of times, you’ll find that your friends are actually fine if you say “no” to something you don’t want to do. [4] X Expert Source Peggy Rios, PhDCounseling Psychologist (Florida) Expert Interview. 18 December 2020. Finding a friend who will likely also say no can establish a ready-made support system when you need them. Support this same friend when he or she needs it, too. Practice with your friend saying no, and even make up a code word to alert the other person to a situation you may need them for.
An example of a high-pressure situation that moves quickly would be being pressured at the moment to shoplift. There may be a small window of opportunity to make the right choice to walk away. Being prepared with a refusal or exit plan can help in such a case.
If you generally have a good relationship with these friends but every once in a while you find yourself at a party you don’t feel good at, there may be ways to still be friends and just avoid that situation. From time to time you may find friends change and you just stop seeing what was good about the friendship. This is the time to move on from the relationship.
Try to choose friends who have the same values as you. If your friends don’t share your same values and interests, they’re probably going to do things you aren’t comfortable with, and they might pressure you to join them. [8] X Expert Source Peggy Rios, PhDCounseling Psychologist (Florida) Expert Interview. 18 December 2020. Do your best to have a broad circle of friends. The more friends you have, the less likely you’ll be to feel pressured by a single person to do something you don’t want to. [9] X Expert Source Peggy Rios, PhDCounseling Psychologist (Florida) Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
For example if one friend often tries to get you to shoplift, this is not the shopping buddy you want. You may be able to study with them but avoid the mall. As your friends start to drive, it is even more important to avoid situations where you are at risk of driving drunk or being in the car with someone drunk. If you know your friend may end up in a place you are not safe in, avoid this by driving yourself—or offering to drive everyone—if you are able. A great strategy is to visualize what peer pressure looks like with your friends so you understand which situations to avoid. You can do this by closing your eyes and thinking back on all the bad situations you find yourself in. Consider what details are present, what people are present, and where these bad things usually happen. [11] X Research source
If you are pressured to do something you do not want to do, telling friends you have to practice or attend an event is a built-in exit plan. Activities like sports can also be a great way to excuse yourself from things like drinking and drug use because you need to stay in shape and maybe drug tested.
For example, if you find that honesty is very important to you, but you hang with peers who are often lying, cheating, or stealing this goes against your personal values. You will need to modify your peer group so that you are spending time with people who share the same values as you. [14] X Research source
Peer pressure can suddenly seem really easy to ignore if your friends are asking you to do things that do not align with your hopes and dreams. Work towards something and ask your friends to support you in this. Refer back to your list of goals regularly. Doing this can help you to assess whether the actions you are currently taking are on the right path to getting you where you want to be.
