If someone cuts in front of you while you’re in line, this is rude. You can just ignore it, or you can be assertive. It depends on how bothered you are by it. However, if someone just doesn’t say excuse me when he or she burps, that can be considered rude, but does not necessarily need a response.
One way you may want to practice being assertive is to practice speaking clearly and deliberately. Keep your voice firm and relaxed, but sincere. [5] X Research source If someone cuts in front of you in line and you choose to say something, try: “Excuse me, Sir/Madam. Perhaps you didn’t see me, but I was standing in line before you. "
Try saying, “It hurt my feelings when you called me annoying because it didn’t make me feel valued as a person. "
Try saying, “It hurt my feelings when you called me annoying because it didn’t make me feel valued as a person. Please be mindful of name-calling around me. "
Talking it over with caring friends and family. If someone says something that hurts you, replay it with your loved ones so you can work through the attack together. Listening to your own voice. Don’t let yourself be overcome by what the other person is saying to or about you. Take a step back and check in with yourself instead.
Yelling and other violent gestures, such as knocking something out of your hand. Not having or showing concern or respect for your rights and feelings. Relating to sex or other body functions in a way that offends others. Some behavior may go beyond the boundaries of what is considered rude. In those cases, consider if you are being verbally abused. Do you feel like you are continuously walking on eggshells? Are you the brunt of jokes that make you feel bad? Is your self-esteem spiraling down?[10] X Research source If so, consider filing a complaint with human resources if the person is a co-worker or leaving them if this person is a relationship partner.
A person may perform “downward comparisons” to feel better about themselves. This is a social positioning tactic where if they feel like she can bully you with rudeness and insults, it will make them feel more powerful in comparison. Obviously this comes from a sense of insecurity rather than confidence. Research suggests that sometimes a person will project things they don’t want to admit about themselves on to other people. For instance, if she thinks she is physically unattractive deep down, she might go around telling other people they are ugly. This temporarily passes the problem on to others. A person may also respond with rudeness when they feel threatened. You don’t always need to actually threaten them; they may feel threatened simply by being in your presence, if you are confident or have other desirable qualities.
If the person is a co-worker, did you forget to do something that was then passed on to them? If the person is a family member, did you take someone else’s side in an argument? The person could even be trying to help in a roundabout way, or want to connect but not know how. [12] X Research source Maybe they upset you by accident, and didn’t know they were being rude.
Example: “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to offend you. That wasn’t my intention. "
Bad example: “You’re being really rude to me!” Good example:“I feel hurt by what you’re saying. "
Example: “I’m sorry that you’re upset. Is there anything I can do, or we can do together, to help you feel better?”
Identify your feelings. Try to figure out what’s happening inside you and what will make it better. Explain to the person why you are feeling this way. Couch the language in terms of your needs, rather than what she is doing wrong. Example: “I’m sorry, but I’ve had a hard day and I’m really sensitive right now. Can we continue this discussion later?” Request that something be done differently. Don’t feel bad to request that a certain behavior or action take place, after explaining where you are coming from. [16] X Expert Source Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
Sometimes rude behaviors happen because someone is just having a rough day. You might find that after addressing the person’s needs and have diffused the other person’s frustration, he or she might apologize to you for their bad behavior.
