If a stranger calls you a good girl and their tone is nice, they’re probably just trying to be kind. You might be okay with some friends calling you a good girl, but not with others. This is completely fine—your reaction to anyone calling you a good girl is valid. For instance, you might be alright with a co-worker calling you a good girl if they’re kind, but you might dislike it when another co-worker seems fake when they say it.
For example, if they’re taking charge, they might say something like, “Are you going to be a good girl for me?"[1] X Research source You might get turned on when your partner calls you a good girl or you might find it uncomfortable. Either way, make it clear to your partner whether or not you want them to keep calling you a good girl in the bedroom.
You might hear a co-worker call you a good girl if they’re feeling threatened by your work performance. For example, a co-worker might say, “Yes, good job on that report. Now, scoot along like a good girl. I need to talk to Jim. " If you’re in an abusive relationship, your partner will belittle you as a way to break down your confidence. For instance, if you’re talking about leaving the relationship, they might say, “You can’t do that—you’re such a good girl. I need you. "
For instance, if you’re helping someone carry their groceries to their car, they may say, “Aww. You’re such a good girl. " Just smile and carry on or say, “You’re welcome. "
You could use a pleasant, friendly voice to say, “That sounds like it might be a compliment but I don’t really know what you mean by it. Mind explaining it for me?”
If you’re responding by text, keep your thanks short with something like, “Thanks cutie!” or, “Thank you, sweetie. "
“Who, me? Think you’ve got me mixed up with someone else…” “Oh, that’s what you think. I can be a bad girl too. . . " “Well aren’t you a good boy for noticing how good I’m being. " Text back: “😉😉😉,” or “Thanks sweetie 😉”
“Well, that’s patronizing. Maybe have a think about your comments before sharing them with me next time. ” “Gosh, this isn’t the 1950s. You just don’t say stuff like that anymore!” “I am not your child or your dog. Please refrain from assuming otherwise. ” “Ugh! Seriously? Someone needs to brush up on their compliments!” “Wow, that’s just cringey. No thanks, don’t call me that again. ”
If someone called you a good girl by text and you want to let them know that’s not okay, text them “🤨” or “🤦♀️” You could also follow up by saying, “I find this sexist. We need to talk about this later. "
For instance, you might like being called honey, darling, or your nickname. If your partner ignores your wishes, consider it a red flag—they should respect and care about you enough to stop. If a co-worker doesn’t stop, reach out to your human resources department. Tell them you’d like to report sexist comments that you find demeaning. [5] X Research source If your family member or friend keeps saying it against your wishes, call them out in front of others and keep reminding them. For example, say, “I’ve already asked you to stop calling me that. Please don’t do it again. " It may take time, but keep standing up for yourself.
