Whether you can’t do everything because you’ve said “yes” to so many people, or because of all of the commitments of your busy life, tell yourself that it’s impossible for you to say “yes” when you don’t feel right about it.
Tell yourself that you’re not being selfish, and that if that person thinks you’re selfish for not doing something unreasonable, then that’s not a person you should want to associate with. Think of all of the times that you have said “yes” to people in the past – what’s selfish about that?
You can please the people you really care about some of the time, but it’s not possible to please every person every time – and maintain your sanity.
You’re saying “yes” to spending more quality time with your friends, loved ones, and family instead of doing something you don’t want to do. You’re saying “yes” to maintaining your sanity, to having some “me time,” and for making time for the hobbies and interests that matter to you. You’re saying “yes” to living a more relaxed, evenly-paced life that is centered around the things that having meaning for you, not for someone else. You’re saying “yes” to having a reasonable workload instead of burying yourself in hours of extra work because you couldn’t turn someone down.
If you’re afraid to ever say no because you’re worried that the person will stop caring about you, then you are in a problematic relationship and should try to get out immediately.
Bullying: The bully keeps insisting that you do the thing he wants you to do, and is even mean or aggressive in the process. You can turn the bully down by keeping your cool and not reacting to his aggressive tone. Whining: The whiner can keep complaining about how hard something is until you break down and agree to help without even being asked. Instead, either change the subject, avoid contact with that person for a little while, or just say that you’re sorry that the person is having such a hard time without agreeing to help. Guilting: Some people will try to make you feel guilty by telling you that you never help or that you never come through in a pinch. Calmly remind the person of the times that you have helped, and deny the request. This time will be different. [7] X Research source Complimenting: The complimenter may start by telling you how amazing you are at something, or how smart you are, and then will ask you for help with a certain task. Don’t fall prey to flattery and agree to do something just because you’re being praised. This is commonly called a ‘Feedback sandwich’.
If you don’t raise your voice or sound upset, the person will be much more likely to accept your explanation.
Don’t say, “I am so, so sorry that I can’t walk your dog next weekend. I feel really, really bad about it. " Instead, say, “I’m sorry I don’t have time to walk your dog next weekend. "
“I can’t finish this project tonight because I have to wrap up this report by midnight. " “I can’t drive you to the dentist tomorrow because my husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary that night. " “I can’t go to your party because I have to take a final exam the next morning. "
“I can try to finish the project tomorrow, but only if you can help call a few of my clients in the morning. " “Do you want to borrow my car to take yourself to the dentist? I won’t need it tomorrow anyway. " “I can’t go to your party, but I’d love to catch up this weekend, after my big exam. How about we go out for brunch? I’d love to hear all about it. "
